I have demons in me.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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