she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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