What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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