...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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