dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
