ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
