hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
