if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
