Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
