Banned from zoo.
Again?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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