I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
