So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
