Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
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