I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
