Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Soap is not a condiment
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
