So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
