so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
