Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
