I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
