people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
