Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
