How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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