My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
