Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
