i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
