Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
