is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
