All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There's always time for handjobs
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
