I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
