batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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