Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
