Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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