Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
