Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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