Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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