So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
