Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I will pee on everything he values.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
