I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
