We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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