I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
