what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
