She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Can you repeat that, but with context?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
