i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
