isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm bleeding and have questions
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
