you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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