Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
