Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
