5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
