A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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