Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
