Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
