uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
