he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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